Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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