just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
