I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
