I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
