how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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