I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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