Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
