somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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