The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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