So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
