Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
