Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize