I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
