he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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