I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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