i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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