He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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