so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
