In America we eat man semen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
