I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
