I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
