Can i not drive my cunt home
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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