Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
