Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
