He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
