i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
