I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
