is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
