i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
