can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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