So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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