I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
