Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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