who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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