thus making me awesome and them whores
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
