considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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