you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
