I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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