I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
