she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I love having hate sex.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
