I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
