I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
