Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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