I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
