Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
