You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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