he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
