I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
