Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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