I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
