You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm gonna have a badass scar
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
