The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
