Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
