oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is the high leading the old right now
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
