Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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