I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize