Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
