Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
