Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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